The Third Letter: Courage
She keeps crying incessantly, and I really want to ask her, why is she crying? She came into this world because of love and happiness! My mother and stepfather specifically ordered me to paint her room a beautiful taro purple, so why is she still crying?
In the past, others mocked me, saying that my parents no longer wanted me. Every time I heard such words, I felt an immense anger, wishing to tear their mouths apart and tell them that it was not true! But one day, I unexpectedly became very calm, because what they said was actually correct, wasn't it? I lived with my grandmother for eight years, which were the darkest and most painful years of my life. It was not until I turned sixteen that my mother, who had married in the United States and obtained American citizenship, suddenly remembered that she seemed to have a daughter. How ironic it is!
As for my major, my mother scoffed and asked me, "Do you know how difficult it is to train a surgeon in the United States? Four years of undergraduate studies, four years of medical school, four years of residency and internships; the cost of medical education is simply astronomical. Who will support you? Moreover, with the various exams each year, you won't even be able to pass them."
I did not stand up; on the contrary, I crouched down and hid. I do not know why I had to hide, as I had done nothing wrong. That night, I took the night bus back to my grandmother's house, crying the entire way. I truly never knew I could have so many tears. I was scolded again by my aunt and uncle; they did not care about me at all. I had not eaten anything all day. This matter, I have never mentioned to anyone, but I really wanted to cry hysterically. I want to ask, why is fate so unfair to me? I still love my father dearly; he has always been the person I love the most, even more than my mother.
I am very curious about how other girls spend their sixteenth year. Do they take walks with their parents after dinner? Do they go shopping with friends on weekends? Do they secretly write love letters to the boys they have a crush on? Do they wear beautiful dresses and eat ice cream in the sunshine? Do they eat snacks while watching television?
Thank you for never resting even at night; it is you who has made my today possible
The place I most want to go, how can I turn back halfway?
On the first day, I was so exhausted that I could barely stand. During mealtime, I realized I had forgotten to bring my lunchbox, and I had not a single cent on me. The cheapest discounted bread was ninety-nine cents, which I could not afford. I walked home at eight in the morning, already starving, and I leaned over the sink and vomited for a long time. On the second day, I was stocking the freezer. The smell of seafood was overwhelmingly foul, and the freezer was excessively cold. My knees were in constant pain, but I could not rest; I gritted my teeth and endured those nine hours. I had brought a sandwich, but I could not take a single bite; I was overwhelmed by a nauseating fishy odor. I am grateful for the suffering I have endured, and I am thankful for the good days I have never experienced, as they have made me strong and fearless. My hourly wage is eight dollars, and I do not even know when I will be able to gather the exorbitant tuition fees. Yet, I have never thought of giving up, for this is the closest I have ever been to my dream in my life. I must, I must hold on tightly to it! Every time I feel I cannot go on, on the verge of despair, I tell myself: one day in the future, what you are doing may save a life and bring another smile to the world. Then I feel as if I have strength again, to persist a little longer.
The news that my mother is coming to pick me up to go to the United States has stirred up a great deal of commotion in my family. Those relatives who usually look down on me have all come to me, sarcastically saying, "You are really lucky. While others rely on their mothers' status, you, on the other hand, don’t have to do anything and can go to the United States to enjoy a life of luxury."
After dinner, while tidying up the table, I looked up at the moon outside the window, which was round and large. Suddenly, I thought back to a year ago when I was sitting in class, and my father sent me a text message saying that the materials I submitted for the second time had been approved by the embassy
I bought my sister a set of JC (the women's clothing brand Ju Se) velvet sportswear, and she really likes it. You can hardly imagine that the annoying little girl who used to cry all the time has secretly learned to put on makeup and is now clamoring to take her stepfather's car out for a drive.
Then I finally saw my father, who walked out of the hallway wearing a white tank top and gray shorts. Just as I was about to stand up and call out to him, I noticed a small child sitting on his shoulder, laughing and waving their arms and legs. Following my father was his later wife.
He lowered his head in silence, and after a long while, he finally said: "CC, I am sorry for what I have done to you."
I am forbidden to speak loudly at home, and my uncle would publicly beat me severely for breaking a spoon. They always point at my nose and say: Your parents don't want you anymore, who would care about you? But I do care, I want to live well! On my thirteenth birthday, I took the money I had saved for a long time and secretly went to the city to find my father. My father still lived in the old house, with walls covered in ivy. On my thirteenth birthday, I took the money I had saved for a long time and secretly went to the city to find my father. My father still lived in the old house, with walls covered in ivy. I didn't dare to go upstairs to find him, so I sat on a stone bench under the tree. I don't know how long I waited, and my whole body was covered in mosquito bites.
I smiled and told her that I am doing well on my own
Today marks the one-year anniversary of my arrival in the United States
Yet I will never forget that dusk, the moment he stepped out from the shadows, for it constantly reminds me that in this world, the love I possess may not belong solely to me
Recently, my mother and stepfather began discussing my further education with me. I nervously told them that I wanted to attend a university in California to study medicine and become a surgeon. However, upon hearing this, my mother's expression suddenly darkened. She shared their plans with me; they hoped I would directly enroll in a community college. The first reason was that the tuition there is very low, and the second was that it is close to home, which would save on accommodation costs. After two years, they suggested I could try to transfer to another regular university in Texas. By spending a few more years in community college, I could save a significant amount of money.
In the next decade, we will walk together
I told him: "Dad, I have grown up, I can earn money on my own now. Whatever you want, I will buy it for you"
Ten years from now, if you can see this letter, can you tell me, have I succeeded? Did I make it? Am I needed by this world?
In fact, it would be better to be rejected. You tell me, if I had not come to the United States, would I have found it easier? When my parents divorced during my childhood, it seemed like a catastrophic event to others, yet I did not even have the right to cry or make a fuss. They left me at my grandmother's house in the countryside, and even the other children were unwilling to play with me, saying that I was picked up from the roadside.
On the day I left, my aunt and uncle did not come to see me off; they only sent a message: "If you see something good in America, remember to save it for your sister." I once naively thought that everything would get better once I arrived in America. I attended a community high school, and I was the only Asian student in the entire school. My English was poor, and I could not understand anything in subjects related to the humanities. I hated biology and history to the point of unbearable frustration. I had no friends, but I had already grown accustomed to that. My mother gave me twenty dollars a week for living expenses, which included my lunch at school. The hamburger meal at the school cafeteria cost seven dollars, and there used to be small buns for one dollar each, but for some reason, they stopped selling them. So, every day I bought a bag of cookies with only two pieces and ate them with bottled water, which still cost me about three dollars. I had to cook, clean, and take care of my sister who was only a few months old when I got home every day. I really couldn't stand her crying endlessly; I was always on the verge of breaking down. I never had weekends or holidays; all my time was devoted to housework and taking care of my sister. When my sister needed to be changed, even my mother didn't want to deal with it, so it all fell on me.
Sender: CC, seventeen years old, currently residing in Texas, USA
Last Christmas, I brought my father to the United States. His hair had already turned mostly white. I saw him standing timidly on the streets of America, a mix of admiration and reluctance to look too long, which made me feel particularly heartbroken
You are the most wonderful girl I have ever seen, you are my light
I did not cry, so why should she cry
The last time I returned home, during a family gathering, I encountered my second sister. She was carrying an identical handbag, but this time, the one in my hand is genuine, worth 2,000 dollars, every cent earned by my own hands, while her expression appeared quite poor.
Over the years, I have also experienced many moments of dissatisfaction, sadness, misunderstanding, and loss of confidence. During these times, I would drive to the Walmart supermarket late at night, where I seemed to see a girl in a dark blue uniform, diligently working with her head down.
Due to the nature of my work, my workplace is always changing; however, I have found that I truly enjoy such changes. I can no longer stay in one place for an extended period of time
This is a very respectable and esteemed job. Every time I dispense medication, I feel a sense of joy, knowing that there will always be someone who suffers a little less because of this dose of medicine
Reply from my future self ten years later
Last weekend, I returned to Dallas. My stepfather's health has been declining year by year. As you know, in the United States, being a police officer is not considered a good profession; the working hours are long, the intensity is high, yet the pay is very low. Our family had dinner together, and braised spare ribs remain my signature dish.
Aunt and uncle also look at me with disdain every day. Everything is only qualified to be owned by my second sister, even the LEGO that my father bought for me belongs to my second sister. Therefore, when I arrived in the United States, the first thing I did was buy a box of LEGO.
Is it possible? I really want to know, will there really be such happy and ordinary girls?
This is what my biological mother said when faced with my dreams. I truly couldn't hold back, which led to a heated argument between us. After that, they came to my room and told me they could make a concession, allowing me to choose to study for only six years to become a pharmacist, with all expenses covered by my own loans. The condition of their concession was that I would bear the full cost of my sister's tuition in the future. They never once asked me why I wanted to become a surgeon. They never once asked me why I wanted to become a surgeon. Because I have always naively hoped that one day I could save the lives of my family and my loved ones. In this world, I possess so little that I do not want to lose even a single thing.
In order to earn tuition fees, I started working. My first job was at Walmart, working the night shift from 10 PM to 7 AM. The people I worked with were all tall and strong Mexicans, and I had to do the same tasks as them, moving goods and scanning barcodes
Today, I spent the entire day in the laboratory. After work, I went alone to a Michelin restaurant to have a steak. After returning home, I called my father, and he informed me that he has received the money I sent over.
She has also learned to ask me seriously like an adult: "Sister, are there any boys pursuing you?"
My weekly allowance has finally exceeded twenty dollars, and even adding two more zeros does not limit it. I have repaid the bank loan
To my future self in ten years
Yes, you are correct. I graduated from medical school three years ago, passed the examination, and became a pharmacist